Can Squirrels become Butterflies? Living the dream while recovering from ME/CFS

Hello all!

Cool stuff coming up:
• Site Redesign & Update
• New Screenwriting projects
• New YouTube channel

I am currently undergoing a big redesign of my website. I had a very bad relapse of the ME/CFS over the last few years, which hit me very severely and I am only just recovering in the last month or so, which has meant I have not been able to put any energy into this space or my website for a while. A long while. I've been concentrating on my recovery from what has been a truly devastating illness. As I am slowly recovering I am catching up on updating my website, responding to correspondence that I missed and getting back to my writing.

Seriously, I don't quite know how I've made it through the last few years. ME/CFS is so much more devastating that the name 'chronic fatigue syndrome' confers. It is more like flu you never seem to be able to get over and on a good day it feels like the worst hangover you've ever had and a crushing fatigue that is difficult to describe. Nothing like healthy 'fatigue'. You basically feel really ill, but get very little in the way of medical help or sympathy. It's pretty awful really and a patient is basically just left to 'get on with it'. Amazingly we do adapt, but need strict pacing and a super healthy regime to regain ground from the illness.

I've been very lucky. Apart from having the most brilliant family ever, I've found some amazing help from The Optimum Health Clinic in London, Active Healthcare and a Kineseologist called Gill Farr, which so far seem to be making enough of a difference that I can now sit up and write this and have spurts of ability to do 'stuff' in small portions, which I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to have a little bit of my life back! Yay! :D

I am now strictly pacing my activity, which means I'm having to be very strict on how I use my time and energy. All I really want to do right now is continue to recover, write and enjoy myself and time with the family, so I am not going to take on any extra work and just concentrate on honing my craft on my own projects. I intend to start keeping a video diary of my next screenplay on YouTube, sharing the process and hints and tips I've picked up along the way.  That's if I can get used to the idea of being in front of the camera!

The upside of the ME/CFS is that it has given me a lot of down time to think and ponder, which has meant I am now bursting full of stories. There's nothing like traumatic life experiences to focus the mind, even if that mind is a little addled with ME/CFS brain-fog.  Life is too short and precious and we really have to make the most of what we have on this planet and I've come to the conclusion I was born to be a storyteller and the medium I choose is screenwriting for film. 

I wonder if the ME/CFS was the messenger for me to truly understand this and stop me in my tracks until I got the message. I started writing at first just as I really couldn't manage anything more physical with the ME/CFS, but what if it was more than that - a secret calling from my soul to step up. A big walloping hint from the Universe to follow my destiny. Since I've taken up the idea, me as an actual, real Screenwriter, life just seems to flow and I've had so much support, it's like the universe is screaming out for me to write more and offers me cool people and help and encouragement everywhere I turn. The pure joy of actually being able to sit upright long enough with some semblance of brain function is just so wonderful.

It actually feels quite magical, as if the whole universe is conspiring. I've pretty much always thought as myself as the best assistant on the planet, here to assist the industries greats... but what if... what if I'm actually here to CREATE? Something much more ambitious than assisting. Putting my authentic self and vision on the line. 

I've always been the little squirrel diligently and passionately working behind the scenes, but somehow the cocoon of serious illness has metamorphasized me into something else. Maybe only an experience of losing so much, our identity of who we *think* we are can we fully embrace what we actually are in the moment? Our potential. Our souls calling.  Can we actually hear a soul's calling when life is so busy and hectic doing?  Would I have started writing if I had not got ME/CFS? Probably not. I was way too active and adventuring for that much sitting down and thinking.

Since I've started to come out of the fog and desolation of illness I feel new growth emerging from the metaphorical ash from the forest fire that is ME/CFS. Can squirrels emerge from cocoons as butterflies? Is the case of making the impossible, possible a shift of reality? For I sure feel lighter, brighter and ready to fly!

I hope my slow but sure ongoing recovery from ME/CFS will inspire people to overcome their difficulties and any obstacles and follow their dreams. I will endeavour to write more blogs with my philosophies and ideas on wellbeing and success and the many methods I have used to overcome my own challenges and stay positive and focused on my goals and aspirations.  Although I may make these as YouTube videos and save my typing fingers for my screenplays!

Thanks for listening! :)


If you would like to donate to ME/CFS research, please click here: 

To visit my website, please visit www.jengovey.co.uk

To connect with me on social networking, please check out my about.me/jengovey page and pick your favourite networks.

I'm going to be featured in a Book!

Hello my dear readers,

Many of you may have noticed I often seem to drop of the face of the planet, nowhere to be seen, just the occasional random appearance and quick blog... I do have a habit of randomly disappearing and have done since probably longer than you can even remember... unless you just met me of course, you will just have to use your imagination there. Anyway, "you've just been busy Jen" I hear you say and yes, that's very true as I've been extremely busy and I'll share more about that later (my next blog - it's all very exciting at the moment!)... but maybe it's just one of those crazy little things that makes me, me. I have to go and recharge and process my often overly intense creative thoughts and give my brain a rest, you know that habit of me getting very excited and cramming my life full of ideas, projects, thoughts, friends and... stuff... so I'm fit to explode...?

Understanding ourselves and our eccentricities is part of the exhilarating journey of life and I have long been exploring astrology to gain an insight of who I am. My friend (and published author) Lisa Tenzin-Dolma has helped me to deepen my understanding by interpreting my Natal Chart in her fantastic new book, Teach Yourself Astrology.

If you are curious of what makes me tick, what motivates me, where my potential lies and are curious to know me in a deeper cosmic sense, your curiosity can be given some possible answers through the interpretation of my chart in this book. It's actually quite astonishing the information you can find. What kind of work you are suited to, what kind of man (that was very interesting! hehehehe) and it can even show your potential for success. Thankfully, the celestial forces haven blessed me with a Venus trine MC and a Jupiter sextile MC, which means great things for my career! WooHoo! :D

Anyway, I was absolutely delighted and flattered when Lisa asked if she could use my chart to demonstrate interpretations as a part of Teach Yourself Astrology. I am wondering if it was a particularly nice alignment of the planets that helped it along, or the fact that I had been delving deeply into my own chart looking for answers to help with my healing and life journey. I had been stuck on this little icon which looked like a key sat up in Aries in my eleventh house. It was quite strongly aspected with my Sun, Mercury, Saturn and Uranus and I wanted to unlock its secrets. I couldn't find much in my astrology books so I called my friend Lisa. I always call Lisa in these situations as she has a wondrous abundance of knowledge, and as usual she came through with flying colours and opened up a whole new meaning to my chart and a deeper understanding of myself.

The key, I discovered was Chiron, the wounded healer. With Lisa's coaching and additional reading of her previous astrology book "Understanding The Planetary Myths" I came to learn more about the psychology and deeper meaning; that Chiron reminds us that only through recognising and accepting our inner wounds can we find true healing. It was one of those Eureka moments. Maybe it was coincidence that Lisa had just been asked to write Teach Yourself Astrology while all this self-discovery was going on and she was just as fascinated with my chart as I was at that moment in time. Of course I leapt at the chance of Lisa delving even deeper into my cosmic closet for the book. The experience has left me a lot more confident about my potential in the film industry. I kind of always knew I was destined, but it's fantastic to find my potential and motivations in my chart, and how I can make it work for me and what I need to watch out for. I'm even looking forward to meeting my future man, a prospect I had previously found totally bewildering! (You'll understand why if you read the book)

Lisa has created an amazing book and if you have any interest in exploring yourself using the wisdom of my friend and the ancient art of astrology I highly recommend it (not that I'm bias or anything ;o) It's innovative presentation of astrology and its format allows you to understand, in a more practical way, your psychological make-up, how to make the most of your untapped potential and how to overcome your personal hang ups and demons.

Knowing me knowing you... ahhaaaaaaa...

Okay... okay... I'm just a little excited!! So excited that I had to share this glorious news, now it's become official. There is an official MySpace Page for the book and if you're very lucky the author Lisa Tenzin-Dolma will stop by and say hello. The book could be released anytime from September-November, but is currently available for pre ordering on Amazon. I'm sure I'll give you all a reminder when it's out! =)

If you are on MySpace like me, the meantime please add Teach Yourself Astrology to your friends list:




Thank you my dear friends!

Happy Creating!

Love, Jen xx